Leave it on the field...

So my oldest daughter is getting ready to graduate high school June 2010. I was at an awards ceremony at her school in late May, and I was totally impressed at the fact that she got "The Principals Award" for her overall activities and academic performance (following in her dad's footsteps). I was also inspired by all the other award winners in various categories that chose to make their high school experience as powerful as it could be. Athletic, academics, and activities... there were students who "Left it on the field" so to speak.

That phrase is often used by football coaches around the world. It means to leave everything you have (talent, drive, heart, tenacity, passion, courage, etc.) on the field. Play the game as if everything in the world was going to be determined by what you do in this game at this moment. Though the term is used in sports, the meaning behind it applies to our everyday lives. The successful people in the world are those who "leave it on the field" in whatever area of human endeavor that they embark on. They go hard, or they go home!

I'm far from a Lakers fan! I don't hop on the wagon like others do when it comes to them, but I do respect Kobe Bryant as a player. Is is the Michael Jordan of the new basketball era in the sense that he "leaves it on the field" whenever he plays. He steps up to take the big shots needed to win the game. He doesn't always succeed, but he gives it all that he has. Donald Trump is the same way in the business world. Oprah is that way in the media world, and T.D. Jakes and Louis Farrakhan are like that in their respected ministries.

So I guess my question to you is do you leave it all on the field? What are the areas of your life where you are playing small? Where can you put in greater effort to get greater results? What do you let hold you back from taking the game winning shot, or getting in the game at all for that matter? Yes, I know that that there is a possibility for failure if you take chances... but understand that there is NO POSSIBILITY for success if you don't! Leaving it on the field is not just about getting in the game though. It's about getting in the game and giving it the best that you have to offer. This pertains to life, life, business, family, ministry, and whatever else you can think of that is worth your focused effort! You have the power to do great things, but only if you leave it on the the field when you play the game of life!

Suggested reading: Action Had No Season my Michael Roberts

Internal Integrity

I was talking to myself the other day and I said "Self, why is it that you always keep your word with other people, but you don't always keep your word with me?" At that moment, I realized that it was an integrity issue. There are many ways to look at integrity, but for the sake of this conversation integrity is doing what you said you would do when you said you would do it even if nobody is checking to make sure you did it. In Landmark Education, we learn that integrity has a lot to do with keeping your word.

So here I am, a somewhat successful person in a few different industries, realizing that my full potential has not come into fruition because of what I like to call "Internal Integrity." Many times in life, people will do more for others than they will do for themselves. I'm not sure why it's like that, and I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with it. What I am saying is that we all deserve a level of success and prosperity (in every area of life, not just finances) that can only be attained if we hold ourselves accountable for the things that we say we will do for ourselves.

Let me give you an example:
I've been in the process of writing another book (besides the one I co-authored which is an amazon.com best seller already The Queens Legacy) for about two and a half years now. The outline is done, the concepts are solid, but I just have not finished the book. I've given myself several deadlines, and have missed them all. For those of you that know me, I'm not a heavy drinker. I do enjoy a good glass of wine from time to time. I frequent wine tastings and social gatherings that are centered around wine. So in an effort to somewhat punish myself, I have given up any form of alcohol until I finish writing my current project. Since then, I have been at dinner with friends, social outings, and even mourned the loss of a loved one without participating in any alcohol consumption. Every time I thought about it, I just would tell myself "Keep your internal integrity in tact Mel."

What are the areas in your life where you told yourself you would do something, but you didn't keep your word? Is there some project that you really want to get done, but you are not holding yourself to the standards that you should? How would you rate your own Internal Integrity? Life can be so much better if we just set goals, and REALLY hold ourselves accountable. Think about it like this... A sinking ship does not call out an S.O.S. to another sinking ship. If you really want to be a source of inspiration and a good example for others, do it for yourself first! The world as you know it will change when your Internal Integrity is in tact!

Suggested Readings:
Good to Great by Jim Collins
Developing the Leader Within You by John C. Maxwell
The Power of Focus by Jack Canfield

Love is...

Al Green sang of "Love and Happiness" in one of his most famous songs. Many of us remember the "Love Is..." comic strip that has been around for years. Almost every religion on the planet talks about how the creator (no matter what you call him/her) has an unconditional love for us. Newly weds and people that are in a new relationship have the warm and fuzzy feeling of love. There are so many things around us that give various examples of what we "think" love is.

The top 3 definitions of love as a noun are:

1.	a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.	a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.	sexual passion or desire.

The top 3 definitions of love as a verb are:

1.	to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.

2.	to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

3.	to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.

If I had to tell you what I think love is, I would have to say that it is a decision to make a commitment, then being committed to that decision. Nothing more... nothing less.

From a spiritual standpoint, that's what I believe God has done with us. No matter what we do, God still loves us. No matter how bad we mess up, the divine creator still has this unconditional love for us. Scripture refers to it as agape love. I didn't really understand it until I had children of my own. I can't think of anything that they could do to make me stop loving them. Now that doesn't mean that I allow them to get away with stuff... or if one of them robbed a bank that I wouldn't be disappointed. But there is nothing in the world that can make me stop loving them. I decided to make a commitment, and I am committed to that decision.

So why is it that people fall "in and out" of love? In my limited experience, and I do not proclaim to be an expert by any means, many people confuse how they feel in a particular moment as love. In other words, they proclaim "love" based on how they feel at a particular moment. It's easy to love people during the good times, but what about the bad times?

There also needs to be a distinction between love and acceptance. For example, you may love somebody who has a drug addiction for example. You can still love them without accepting their behavior. There have been people in abusive relationships that loved their spouse, but had to remove themselves from unacceptable behavior.

1st Corinthians 13:4 reads:
⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I think that love never changes, but our interpretation of it does... and with different people having different viewpoints, it's easily misconstrued. We were all fashioned in love. Created by the Most High as the ultimate symbol of what love is. And when we really get closer to our spiritual nature, we experience love on the highest level possible.

This is just my viewpoint though :-)


Suggested Readings:

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

DON'T take it to the grave with you...

So I was thinking the other day about all the things that I have the ability to do, but don't do. Unfortunately, a good friend of mine and her mother lost their dad/husband to cancer in October. I went to the funeral services, and there literally were people from all over the world that flew in to pay their last respects to a gentle giant that is with us no more. He was a living example of making the best out of what you have, and touching the lives of the people that you come in contact with. Regret is something that he didn't take to the grave with him. I'm truly grateful for the limited time that I got to spend with Dr. Kakoma while he was here.

In the month of October, we also lost another giant in the business and personal development industry. Paul J. Meyer was one of the most positive people I have ever met in my life. He set records in the insurance industry at a very young age, and his books and audio series have helped countless thousands become successful. He too was another person that took advantage of every opportunity to be great. He made billions of dollars over the course of his life, and he gave a lot of it away to those who were less fortunate than he was.

My question to you is "What are you taking with you to the grave... and should you?" In other words, are there gifts that you have that should be shared with the world? I read an analogy once that said that the grave yard had more buried treasures than any other place on the planet because people died with their songs still in them... their books still in them... their plays still in them... their inventions still in them... their... you get the point. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY! Everyday, we have the ability to do something with our lives. There are gifts in you that need to be shared with the world, and if you don't share them will end up as buried treasure in a cemetery.

Richard M. DeVos once said "The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible." Those words are so true. We don't always succeed the first time that we try something. Success takes effort. But a person can never be successful if he or she never tries. I was listening to a Jim Rohn audio (I listen to a lot of him and other positive speakers) and one of the things he was talking about was when your life has ended, let there be a tally of your successes and your failures, but NOT of the times that you didn't even try.

Les Brown said "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you get it right." I'm sure others have said something like that before... he may have even gotten that from somebody else. The point is that nothing beats a failure but a try! The fact that I still have breath in my body means that there is still a purpose for me here on earth. The same goes for you. Fall in love with whatever it is you are passionate about, and share it with the rest of the world. We never know how long we will be on this planet, buy while we are here let's live it up!

Suggested Readings:
The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson

The Magic of Believing by Claud Bristol

What you think about... you bring about

This is my very first blog... it's about 1 in the morning and I was thinking that this is worth talking about!

I can remember Kwanzaa celebrations with my family when I was a kid. The children would put on a show, gifts would be given, and explanations of the tradition were explained. The thing that I remember most is a saying that my aunt taught us at a very young age: "What you think about, you bring about. What you ask for, you get. If you act the way you want to be, soon you will be the way that you act."

That still sticks out in my mind this very day. What I think about, I bring about. In other words... thoughts are things. Everything that I see around me that is not the divine manifestation of something that God Himself did came about because of a person's thought process. We have the ability to think things into existence.

I was listening to a CD by Earl Nightingale called "The Strangest Secret" not too long ago. He brought up a very good point in that audio recording. His main point was that "We become what we think about." It doesn't matter if our thoughts are good or bad, because our minds have the ability to produce whatever we think about (good or bad). He said that our minds can be likened to a farm with fertile soil. A farmer can plan corn or nightshade (nightshade is a deadly poison) and the land will grow whatever is planted. It does not discriminate. The same goes for our minds... whatever we plant will grow.

What we think about most will begin to physically manifest in our daily lives. What we think about, we bring about! People that think about sickness often get sick. People that think about poverty suffer from a lack of money and resources. People that think about being healthy are often healthy. People that think about riches in abundance are often wealthy.

This is not a new way of thinking. Scholars and philosophers have talked about this for years. The Bible has passages that tell us "be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2). Buddha even said "Everything is based on mind, is led by mind, is fashioned by mind. If you speak and act with a polluted mind, suffering will follow you, as the wheels of the oxcart follow the footsteps of the ox. Everything is based on mind, is led by mind, is fashioned by mind. If you speak and act with a pure mind, happiness will follow you, as a shadow clings to a form."

If you asked a person to draw a picture of their mind, many people would draw something that looks like a brain. The mind is not your brain. It is a sketchpad for life. It is the canvas for the creation of your world. It is a mound of clay that you can fashion into whatever you like. It is the launchpad for your success, or the storage room for your failure. What you think about, you bring about. What you ask for, you get. If you act the way you want to be, soon you will be the way that you act!

Here are some books that I know will help you on your quest to control your thinking and put you on a path of success:

The Magic of Thinking BIG by Dr. David Schwartz

The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Norman Vincent Peel